Schema Spotlight #7

Schemas, formed through life experiences, encompass a range of mental elements including feelings, sensations, memories, thoughts, and beliefs. Our schemas profoundly influence our perception of ourselves and others, guiding our decisions and actions in navigating the world.

Subjugation [SB]: Individuals with a Subjugation schema often prioritise others' needs over their own, but unlike those with a Self-Sacrifice schema, they do so out of feeling compelled or coerced rather than a genuine desire to help.

This schema often originates from a childhood where a family member was demanding or required extra care and assistance. Alternatively, it can develop from early experiences in relationships where one person frequently insisted on having their needs met, leaving the other person feeling compelled to comply or submit to their wishes.

Those with a Subjugation schema may feel trapped, coerced, and frustrated. As a result, they might resort to maladaptive behaviors like outbursts, passive-aggressive comments, emotional detachment, or seeking unhealthy ways to meet their needs, as they feel unable to express them directly within the relationship.

If you often feel frustrated because your needs are dismissed or minimised, it may be worthwhile to reflect on how you communicate and advocate for your needs. Are you clearly expressing them? Is the other person aware of your needs, and if so, how do they respond? Understanding and addressing these dynamics can lead to healthier, more fulfilling interactions.