Emotional sensitivity and over reactions
Do you ever feel like your emotional reactions are disproportionate to the situation at hand? Do you find yourself thinking, "Why am I over-reacting?" or "Why can't I just get over it?"
Often, when our emotional responses seem excessive or mismatched to the situation at hand, the emotional parts of our brain (the limbic system) are at work. Our brain (and body) carries the emotional burdens of our past long after the situation has passed from our present awareness. For instance, if you experienced bullying in the past and often felt rejected or criticised, future events where similar feelings are triggered may unlock those past painful memories and feelings. Even if the current situation is different and not necessarily negative, your brain reacts as if it's the same painful experience from the past, triggering the fight-flight-freeze response. I know it feels terrible, but it’s actually your brain’s way of trying to prepare you for potential pain or danger!
So now you're not just dealing with the present circumstances but also carrying the weight of past hurts. No wonder it feels so much worse!
To manage this, try to:
Slow down and notice your feelings.
Understand why you might be feeling this way in the current situation. Try and complete the sentence “I feel ___ because ___”
Recognise that these feelings, though connected to past pain, may not apply to the present. And more often than not, you are also not the same person! You have grown, changed, and have other inner and outer resources to handle the situation differently!
This will hopefully help you (and your brain) to understand that despite these feelings being connected to a lot of past pain and hurt, it is not the same situation right now.
Next time you find yourself overreacting, check-in with yourself. Your brain might be clinging to past hurts and need a little care and understanding.
