Schema Spotlight #5

Schemas are like blueprints for life developed from our early life experiences. They encompass thoughts, beliefs, emotions, sensations, and images, forming a "felt sense" of truth. Schemas feel true but are often inaccurate. Schemas influence our actions, thoughts, decisions, and feelings in the present. Everyone has schemas; some are adaptive, while others are maladaptive – but rarely do we re-evaluate them.

Insufficient Self-Control [IS]: In a lighter sense, this pattern of behaviour can be likened to "avoidance of discomfort" and, in extreme instances, a lack of self-control and discipline, prone to impulsivity.

Let’s face it, who enjoys confronting discomfort! Whether it's the nerves of starting at a new school, the tension of a disagreement with a partner, feeling like you’ve disappointed a loved one, the struggle of choosing a salad over a chocolate bar, or the challenge of motivating oneself to go for that run! Yet, most endeavours in life necessitate some level of discomfort tolerance to progress toward our goals. However, when we find ourselves unable to endure discomfort or distress, we resort to giving up, making excuses, and seeking the path of least resistance.

This behavioural pattern can be influenced by both biological and environmental factors. Some are prone to experience difficulty in sustaining attention or mental endurance due to temperamental inclinations and how their brains are wired. Others are raised in environments lacking appropriate boundaries and exposure to discomfort (i.e. caregivers yielding to every demand to avoid tantrums; caregivers prematurely stepping in to resolve any discomfort or pain) and may have had limited opportunities to build distress tolerance skills. Whether influenced by nature, nurture, or a mix of both, there are strategies to support individuals in building their discomfort tolerance, managing attention deficits, and cultivating a more disciplined self.