Inner Critic or the Inner Advisor?

When we feel a sense of shame, incompetence, or have thoughts like “I’m not good enough” “what’s wrong with me?” “I’m an idiot!” – usually there is an Inner Critic at work.

In schema therapy, the Inner Critic is seen as a voice that stems from early experiences where others (parents, peers, coaches, etc.) criticised us or made us feel inadequate. Over time, these repeated experiences of criticism or feelings of defectiveness get internalised and become part of our self-narrative.

The relationship with our Inner Critic is complex because it can sometimes feel protective or beneficial. It might prevent us from speaking up to avoid embarrassment, stop us from taking risks that could lead to failure, or help us assess situations with seemingly "helpful" judgments about ourselves and others. For some, this Inner Critic can even be confused with an Inner Advisor!

Despite the Critic and Advisor seeming like two sides of the same coin, there are key distinctions between them. The Critic often leaves us feeling inadequate, ashamed, and hopeless, aiming to shield us from vulnerability and failure. In contrast, the Advisor provides a more balanced and hopeful perspective, encouraging openness to life. Most importantly, while the Inner Critic may have roots in external influences, I believe we all inherently possess a wise, nurturing, advising self within us. This is why some individuals could have had the most critical and abusive influences throughout their childhood, yet be able to demonstrate a level of compassion, care and warmth that was not modelled to them - the Advisor cannot be given or taken away, it’s part if who we are.

So, who do you find yourself listening to more - the Inner Critic or the Inner Advisor? How can you cultivate and amplify the voice of the Inner Advisor when the Inner Critic tries to dominate?
What is the Inner Advisor trying to tell you right now?